Donations are for my companionship only & Cash Up Front.
Haggling is tacky.... I WILL HANG UP
You must be willing to endure some light screening. I will not make appointments via text or email, nor do I use my phone for email. So PLEEEEEEEEZE CALL 72 O 61 SIX 9 O 99
NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT
Please allow AT LEAST 2hrs heads up. This is not my only line of work & I cannot just drop everything & be available immediately. When you call & I do not answer, please leave a message with your NUMBER & contact info & I will call you back as soon as I can.
If you are calling from a cell phone 'burner app' like Bandwidth.com or from Google Voice, both of which mask your cell phone number, or from a landline.......THEN
I CANNOT PROPERLY SCREEN YOU, SO PLEASE CALL FROM YOUR ACTUAL CELL PHONE #
OR I WILL NOT SEE YOU.......SORRY
TEXT drives me absolutely batshit!
If I want to communicate with you using my thumbs, it means I want to strangle you.
I will NOT book appointments via text.
I will not send pics via text either.
Nor will I discuss services via text.
And PLEASE dont text me pictures of your little man.
You MUST call ! NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT !!!!!!
PLEASE NO TEXT, BLOCKED, RESTRICTED, UNAVAILABLE PRIVATE, UNKNOWN or PAY PHONE #s will be answered.
7 2 O 61 SIX 9 O 99
NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT NO TEXT
Thanks for visiting my companion page! I am 53 years old, 5'9" tall and 150 lbs. I have all natural gravity defying 38G breasts and have been told my French talents are beyond compare. I am DRAMA-free, have no children, no husband, no boyfriends or bad habits, outside of talking too much. I am 420 Friendly (BYOB) and I DO NOT smoke cigarettes. If you are a smoker, or if you chew, you are welcome to smoke on my porch, but dont expect a lot of DFK or DATY. None if you chew.
I have a slightly twisted but playful sense of humor and have been really enjoying this line of work since taking the plunge 10 years ago. I am very laid back and prefer to see well groomed, respectful gentlemen who are not in a hurry. Grey matter really turns me on, so if you have superior cranial material, we will get along famously.
Im not really into bling and lingerie and girly things, but I do look stunning in a cocktail dress, should you need a companion for any social functions. I will only wear high heels while on my back though ;-)
I also make a wonderful ornament in leather for the back of your motorcycle and will wear waistwaders with enthusiasm. I finesse bass fish in and around the Denver metro area. I am an excellent Gilligan and can bait my own lures and I am familiar with all kinds of naughty knots. In addition to fishing, I also love camping, hiking, horseback riding, billiards, bird watching, snowboarding, gardening, hot springs, naturism and all music except country western & rap. (the C in *RAP is silent, get it?)
I do not book last minute appointments, unless we have already met or I can verify your info in a timely fashion. I have no revolving door installed here, rarely see more than one gentleman in a day and will only do outcalls well after the evening rush hour is over. If you are interested in reserving some time together for a future trip to the Denver metro area, please make an introduction via email prior to the date you have in mind, then call as your visit here approaches.
Oh......and I CAN SQUIRT! That doesnt mean I WILL. It all depends on my partner and if there is good chemistry between us. Unlike a vending machine, I cannot demonstrate my talent on demand so YMMV. If you take direction well and would love to learn all about a womans G-spot, CUM see for yourself ! I've also been told I give an excellent prostate massage. Please give a heads up (pun intended) if you desire to have your "P-Spot" massaged & arrive freshly 'prepared' down there. Please also indicate if you are interested in massaging my G-Spot. You must visit for at least 1 hour for either of these talents & give advance notice ;-)
Because of my age, I realize that I fall into the 'cougar' niche, and now 'gilf' ....WTF....however, that does not mean I prefer the company of younger men only. In fact, its quite the opposite. I will see gentlemen in their 20's on a case by case basis only and turn down 75% of calls from young men. I'm just not into being Mrs. Robinson, especially if you dont know who Mrs Robinson is........ I much more prefer the company of men closer to my age. I am most definetly hetero, not even remotely interested in women, or couples and never go to Greece, so please dont even ask.
ALL NEW FRIENDS will be asked to provide the following when you call me:
- Your first name
- cell phone # (NOT your bandwidth.com or google voice #)
- names of any local provider references (I am newbie friendly) Call me if you have none of these.
- names of any aliases you use to post reviews or to post in any forums like TOB, TER, ECCIE etc
- a brief description of yourself
- your desired window of opportunity
- Bottom line, I MUST HEAR YOUR VOICE before I decide to see you.
- No phone call = no appointment. If you are concerned about your spouse intercepting phone data etc, I strongly suggest buying a $20 throw away phone @ Walmart & keeping it in the trunk of your car.
- I do not want to waste anyones time and prefer your weight is proportionate to height. If you are comfortable with attaching a photo (of you, NOT your johnson), thats terrific but not necessary.
- Please also advise me if you have taken any performance enhancing drugs like Viagra, Cialis, Levitra & their generic equivalents etc. They must be taken in advance to our appointment. I am surprised at how many men pop one as they are walking in the door.
- If you are fully aware you have ED and do not tell me prior to our encounter, neither one of us will have a good time and I guarantee we will not have a second date.
PLEASE DO NOT wear cologne, after-shave, tons of deoderant or AXE body spray(its disgusting), as I am allergic and consider most of them to smell like girl-repellant. If you cannot arrive freshly showered, no worries, you are very welcome to freshen up here. Please give me advance notice. My incall is very well appointed and I may even join you in the shower if asked nicely.
PLEASE DO NOT arrive late without calling to make me aware of these things. I know, shit happens, but at least give me the opportunity to plan the remainder of my day.
PLEASE DO NOT arrive early either. You are not my only client.
NEVER drop by unannounced. I will eat you for breakfast.
Did you know that the average man has pubic hair(s) growing 1/3 of the way up under the shaft of his penis? And did you know that the average male pubic hair, when stretched out, is approximately 2" long? Now think about where my tongue would be ..... Yes, that's right, on the UNDERSIDE of the shaft. I love smoothly groomed men, especially the whole package, if you catch my drift. I refuse to give pleasure to a pile of hair.... PERIOD !
Gentlemen, here is some advice you should all consider. I love what I do and I am damn good at giving pleasure. But, if you want a good French lesson, TRIM YOUR JUNK !
I'm not saying shave, just TRIM so the hairs are 1/2" long and laying down. No pole jungle! Not 5 o'clock shadow short, just TRIMMED. Same goes for your balls & the UNDERSIDE of your shaft. TRIM YOUR JUNK!
Here are a few Urban Dictionary terms for 'hairy junk':
CACTUS DICK: the result of pubic hair growing on the SHAFT of your penis that hasn't been shaved for 24 hours.
SHAFT STACHE: A pube-doo that results when a man shaves or waxes all of his pubic hair, except that around the base.
VISUAL INCH: Gaining what appears to be extra length on ones penis by trimming the pubic hair around the shaft.
COCK RUG: The pubic hair left untouched for your lifetime on and around your penis.
POLE JUNGLE: Pubic hair, particularly at the base of a penis. Like going on a fucking safari.
NUT STACHE: A mustache on the genitals, with the penis acting as a nose. May also be part of a full nut beard.
WIENER SPROUT: Pubic hair growing from the shaft of the penis. Look under the shaft guys!
JUNGLE FLEECE: Sporadic growth of hair found on the shaft (above and below) of a penis.
COCK BROW aka LITTLE HITLER: A tuft of hair above the shaft of a penis.
CARROT THISTLE: An unsightly thatch of bright red hair growing on the tip of a red headed man's pink & white speckled penis.
CHODA: A penis head emerging from the pubic hair without a visible shaft.
COCK SHALOM: When pubic hair around the ballsack region grows long, dense & curly to such an extreme that the shaft combined with the beard-like phenomenon makes it seem as though you have a hacidic jew between your legs.
SHAFTRO: A seriously ungroomed patch of male pubic hair that looks like an afro.
EASTER BASKET: Having entirely too much hair in the pubic region to where your nuts and penis head look like a few eggs in a dark grassy basket.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: Worn with a Perm, Bearded Dragon, Crank Hair.........feel free to email your own!
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